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She did another thing today that ticked me off. (She recently called me at nearly 11 pm.)īut I'm wondering now if there's an added element of dementia involved. I honestly think this: I think she's totally emotionally driven and so when she feels like calling me, she just calls me - regardless of the time. She never ACTS like she's under the influence and I haven't seen any evidence of this. Honestly, I don't think she's doing drugs or alcohol, though I could be wrong. Are you truly forgetting? Because if so, that's a problem and it is concerning to me." "You know what - since I've told you over and over again not to call after 9 pm, but you keep doing it - well, frankly, I'm getting concerned about you. If, on the other hand, you still strongly suspect that she is having age related memory problems and other symptoms of senile dementia (which can be exacerbated by alcohol/drug abuse) then yes, I think you should confront her with something like you mentioned. Unless you jog her memory she likely won't even remember that she called the night before and left that message. If she calls at night and only leaves an abrupt message that says "call me" then I'd suggest that you do NOT call back the next day. If this is the same kind of situation with her then you've already done all you can do. They don't want to hear it and don't care because when they're into their drug of choice for the evening the only thing they care about is their own entertainment, convenience and self-indulgence. You can tell them until you're blue in the face that you won't answer the phone after a certain time but it goes in one ear and out the other. They don't pay attention to time and always phone people to chat at times of evening/late night that, if they were sober, they would know are highly inappropriate times to call. I think she behaves exactly like several functioning and well hidden "closet" night time alcoholics and drug abusers that I've known over past years.